When it rains, it pours.

Ever have one of those months in which everything seems to be going wrong? Yeah, me too.

How about losing someone you care about, and then the next week getting your car stolen? Yeah, that's me too.

I keep trying to look on the bright side, but I'm starting to realize that when one big thing happens, it seems that lots of other bad things follow suit. Why is that?! It's like...oh, hey, this one big horrible thing isn't bad enough, let's test you more.

Sometimes I think that life is one big psychology experiement. We are given more and more to handle to see what our limit is, until we break down. I've started to break down at the most inopportune times- standing on line at the cashier at Ikea, at my cousin's wedding this weekend, when hanging out with friends. I'll think I've pulled myself together, and then suddenly I'll start to blubber like a baby and I'll realize that I've got a long way to go. I can't start crying in the privacy of my own apartment, oh no. It's got to be in public, where everyone and their mother can point and stare and wonder "What's wrong with HER?"

I need to get my act together, because classes start tomorrow and I can't randomly start crying in class. That would be bad.

Meanwhile, my new nickname in the church office is "Ms. Job." I'm just waiting for the boils.

Sacrifice: How much is too much?

In light of some recent events, I have come to realize that sacrifices are always a part of life. No matter what the situation, be it a relationship, a goal, or something else, we humans are always giving things up. Sacrifice is a part of life.

But as I continue down this winding path of life (that seems to have veered in a new and different direction), I've started to contemplate what new sacrifices must be made in order to follow this new path. I have to think about what type of sacrifices I am willing to make in order to do what I need to do.

People are faced with choices about sacrifices all the time. Should I choose my career over a partner? Should I give up something I want to do in order to be with my child? Should my spouse's career come first since mine is "less important" for various reasons?

I am starting to realize that I have the will power to give up many things that I never thought I could. Things (and people) that I hold very dear to me may have to be sacrificed in order to follow my life's path. It hurts so very much. And I wish that these decisions didn't have to be made. But life is never easy, and sacrifice is part of life. I know that some sacrifices are too large for me to make, and others, although large as well, have to be done because without them my life can not continue.

Sacrifice is never easy; Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice by giving his life for us. I know that as a Christian I must take up my own cross in order to follow God's will. Intellectually I know that this is what I must do, but my heart cries out, wishing that there was some other way. I can only hope and pray that what I end up sacrificing is what I'm supposed to give up.