How Other People View Us

In life, it's easy to get wrapped up in how we think of ourselves. We get so busy with our schedules, our work, and our leisure activities-- and tend to only think of ourselves as how we see our own self. This is why, when someone makes an observation about you, it can be shocking. It is easy to forget that the people around us have views on who we are as well!

I have two recent examples of this. These instances have made me realize that people view us in ways that we would never see ourselves, whether the views be good or bad:

1) Today I was walking back to my apartment from campus, which happens at least twice a day. I have had some interesting experiences on my 3-block walks before, but this one may take the cake.

Two men (probably about mid-twenties) were walking about a half a block ahead of me at a slow pace. These men were heckling people that walked by, both across the street and on our side of the street. As I came into earshot, I could hear them saying something to the female student across the street, and she was not responding. The men finally gave up on her and said "Well, white girls don't like black guys anyway."

Of course, this was when I had to pass them on the sidewalk. I was their next easy target. "What about you, sweetheart?" one of them asked me. "Do you like black men?" I continued walking and ignored them. They continued to heckle me. When they finally realized I wasn't going to respond, one of them said to my retreating figure "Awww she ain't got no butt anyway."

Ummmm excuse me? Do I have a small butt??? I've never thought about my butt before, probably because I can't see it. Do other people think I have a small butt? Is it bad to have a small butt? Should I even CARE that I have a small butt?!

2) When the children in Sunday School were making a poster to put on the wall about Baptism, they decided that they wanted to draw the pastor and me on it. What resulted was something like the "Draw a Person" psychological test, except that they drew how they perceived us to be. The resulting drawing of me is at the top of this blog post.

This drawing is ME? Well, they told me they drew me with my eyes closed because I always blink in photographs, so that makes sense. But why am I drawn in blue? Why is my hair blue? Why is my whole outfit pink? And what am I holding?! It's some unidentified rectangular object. It could maybe be a book? A box of cereal for snack time? A beer? Who knows, since the object is also pink?! At least they drew me smiling.

I should also mention that I was drawn upside-down on the poster; I turned it right-side-up for easier analysis. So this is how my students see me-- blue haired, wearing pink, holding something rectangular, and upside-down. I wonder what a psychologist would say about all of that.

It's good to know that people can view us in completely different ways than we view our own selves-- even if we don;t necessarily like what they say!